


Beyond Description

by SweaterTown (orphan_account)



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Gen, Gender Identity, Gender Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 06:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13676046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/SweaterTown
Summary: After a discussion with Mabel, Stan seeks out Ford to talk through his thoughts, and gains some insight into himself in the process.





	Beyond Description

**Author's Note:**

> This was something stupid I wrote just because I relate to Stan deeply and apparently I work through my own issues better by projecting them onto fictional characters. They're probably both wildly OOC. Fight me.

"Hey, uh, Stanford? Can I talk to you about something?"

Ford looked up from the book he was reading and peered at his brother. He never called him 'Stanford', not unless he was really nervous or upset. And for someone that was as much of a bulldozer as Stanley was... That wasn't very often.

"Yes, Stanley? Is everything okay?" Ford set his book down and gestured Stanley to sit next to him on the couch overlooking the backyard.

"Yeah, yeah, everything is fine..." Stan took a seat and looked off into the distance. "I guess I'm just... Thinking, is all?"

"That's a dangerous habit to get into, you know." Ford turned and grinned at his brother, who shot him back a dirty look.

"You know, I thought maybe I'd tell you, but for that I might just have to get up and leave."

Stan smirked, looking away again, shrugging his shoulders on an exaggerated fashion, which solicited a laugh and a punch on the shoulder from his twin.

The giggling died down and a peaceful, yet awkward silence crept up between the brothers.

"So, uh," Ford coughed. "You wanted to talk to me about something?" 

Stan snapped out of his haze, whipping his head to face Ford, nervous expression returning to his face.

"Uh, yeah... Um, well...." Stan looked down at his slippers, dragging his foot along the wooden porch, avoiding Ford's move to regain eye contact. "It's just that... God, I don't know how to say this. I'm worried it's not going to make much sense."

Stanley finally met his brother's gaze, and in lieu of talking, Ford simply put his hand on Stan's shoulder, giving it an affirming squeeze, along with a light smile assuring Stan it was okay if he was having trouble with whatever he was going to say.

Stan glanced back down at the ground.

"Well, so earlier today, I was talking to Mabel and she was talking about, like... Gender stuff? And she was using all these fancy words and I guess it just... Got me thinking." 

He glanced back up at Ford, who still had the same concerned, yet reassuring expression painted on his face. Stan gulped nervously and looked away once again.

"So, um, as I was saying, it got me thinking about... Stuff. And, like, who I am, you know?"

He chuckled awkwardly.

"I mean... Maybe I'm too old to be doing this kind of thing... You know, the self-discovery kinda-"

"You're not too old, Stanley", Stanford interrupted. "For self-discovery, I mean." (Stanley wondered what the Hell _that_ was supposed to mean. _Whatever. He's the older one, anyway._ )

"In fact, you never truly get too old to discover new things about yourself. At age 30, I was so certain in everything I believed. Who I was, who I was going to be. But then..."

Ford was met with a frown.

"Well, uh, yes, you know, um..."

Ford shook his head.

"The point I'm trying to reach is that, in my travels, I had many new experiences and opportunities, ones that I couldn't even begin to describe in-"

Stan snapped his fingers in front of Ford's face.

"Hey, this conversation is supposed to be about me, remember? You can finish you 'self-discovery' nerd tangent later."

Ford laughed awkwardly and scratched his chin.

"Oh, yes, of course." He coughed and repositioned himself on the couch. "Carry on."

Stan sighed.

"Well, so, as I was saying, I was thinking about who I am, and, well... " He paused for a moment. "I don't know."

Stanford looked up at him with a puzzled expression.

"You don't know... What, exactly?"

"What I mean is that I don't know who, or what, I am! I mean, obviously I know how I feel, but there are all these labels and names and, ugh. So, sometimes I feel like a man, okay? But, other times I feel like a woman."

Stan glanced up, holding his breath and searching for Ford's approval, and releasing a sigh of relief as his brother nodded in understanding.

"I think Mabel said that's called 'genderfluid', or something, but honestly, I don't think that's right. I mean, I guess it doesn't make sense, 'cause like, 'Stan, you described yourself and that's what that word means'! but just... Shut up, okay? 'Cause even if it's technically right, it just doesn't feel right, especially because there is definitely more there... Like, bigender was a word she used at some point? And there's that, but also there's stuff that I don't even think there is a label for, and honestly I don't even know if I'm using those other words right, so how the heck am I supposed to try describing any of this when-"

"You don't have to." Ford spoke, and realized a moment later that he should probably be more specific. "What I mean is, you don't have to think of a label for what it is that you are. Human gender takes many forms, most of which are different from person to person, so if you feel like labels aren't sufficient to define you, it's perfectly reasonable not to subscribe to any of them."

After a beat of silence, Ford spoke up again.

"If you want to, of course. Don't think I'm trying to say that you-"

Stan laughed in response.

"No, no, Sixer... I get it. You're just throwing ideas out there. I'm just thinking, though, you know? I just gotta be, something, don't I?"

"Well, of course you're something, Stanley."

Stanford closed his eyes for a moment, contemplating his next words.

He exhaled through his nose and turned back towards the man sitting next to him.

"Stan, in my travels, I've encountered so many things that-"

"I thought we agreed to do your nerd tangent later, Poindexter."

Ford had expected this reaction, and lifted his hands in a placating gesture.

"Yes, yes, but let me finish. What I was saying is, I've encountered so many things in my travels that are beyond description, no matter what language or method of classification you use. And, if I'm being honest?"

Ford patted Stan on the back.

"I think it'd be perfectly fine if you were one of those things."

Ford rubbed circles on Stan's shoulder, comforting him as he rubbed his chin and thought about what his brother had said.

"You really think so?"

Ford shot Stan a knowing glance, one that seemed to say 'You know the answer to that', but he spoke anyway.

"I highly doubt what I think matters to you that much."

Stan let out a hearty laugh and pushed his twin up against the arm of the couch.

"You're damn right, Sixer! I don't even know why I asked!" Stan teased his brother as he wrapped his arm around his shoulder.

The old men laughed and playfully hit each other, the banter slowly dying out as they both looked out into the forest, a comfortable silence washing over them.

"You're damn right."


End file.
